Gender role reversal: is it the solution?

The other day I read a feature about role reversal in marriages — how the highly qualified woman takes on the mantle of the sole breadwinner and the man dons the apron and minds the house and kids. It went on to quote statistics about how this trend is heralding happy marriages and how the rate of divorce has dropped because of this trend as compared to the 70s when women had a larger share of housework and also held down jobs outside their homes.

I am always suspicious of ‘studies’ that are conducted on ridiculously small sample sizes to be of any significance, but my point here is different:

How can something that has come a full circle be the answer to a problem?

While it is a good thing that women have the power to bargain and get what they want from a relationship, doesn’t it create inequity in reverse? The relationship is bound to run into rough weather sooner or later since the issue here is of control; if it was the man earlier, it is the woman now who is in control.

This is akin to the reservation issue. In order to correct a social inequality of the forward castes holding the cards, this method was adapted. Now it has come to such a state that the backward castes are holding all the cards and the others have next to nothing in many states. Is this some kind of karmic justice?

What is required is a via media, whereby both the partners get equal justice, in every term of the word.


  1. Apologies again. Just realised my comment had digressed from the actual subject of the post.
    The study fails to factor in the effects of ‘role-reversal’ in the long term. I wonder if they have factored in the things the ‘house-husbands’ are doing. Was it their choice? were they forced into it? are they pursuing an alternative career which requires them to be at home (e.g. writer, sculptor, pro blogger)?
    Men who as per established norms are used to holding the reigns won’t always sit pretty having relinquished them. Not all men would love that scenario for long. So, the threat of a storm being brewed in the background shall always exist. Hopefully they won’t lead as repressed a life as women had to, leading to a better bonhomie in the household 🙂

    But then love they say makes people do crazy things 🙂


    1. totally agree with you about a storm brewing in the background. let’s hope it fizzles out.


  2. naaah.. Shaadi ke Ladoo is just for 2 or 6 months.. ( and i dnt wanna sound Like a brat here) but it’s nt shaadi ke laddo.. everyone knows what is the whole ladoo about it;) hehehe

    Yeah but I feel 75% females wud quit and stay single!.. And i feel that strongly.. And if no one starts.. I wanna start this trend.. 🙂
    Dnt feel the need to marry someone and cook his food and manage his clothes. I can stay alone, earn and adopt a kid( IF my parents ever understand this;) lol)


  3. yes agree.. Stats sample are less than what actually be considered.
    And wen talk abt Divorce.. i say and strongly feel that today if we give a situation to Indian married females that, forget about society , forget about money part and there children will be taken care by them properly… all will be taken care of??
    Do you wanna move out from marriage?. Don’t be surprised what most of them would say. …. U know the answer!!! and trust me most of them wud stay single!


    1. society, money, kids, security…you have named quite a few things marriage stands for, haven’t you? i wonder if you have heard of ‘shaadi ke laddoo!


  4. being part of the majority has no advantages for the common man in India. a sad but true fact…
    back in early uni days when we were quite miffed with the advantages that an SC/ST drew, the popular term for them in bengal was ‘sonar chand, sonar tukra’ which if translated for its meaning would mean ‘born with a golden spoon’ (pun intended)


    1. how apt! isn’t it high time reservation on the basis of economic status was done in education and employment? it is ridiculous a wealthy student gets admission with lower marks just because of the tag, while a meritorious and economically weak student languishes due this policy.


      1. absolutely.
        a classmate of ours made through to the IIT based on the SC/ST card. somewhere along the line we heard he had dropped out and now he is pursuing masters at uni of toronto. as of 10 yrs ago he had his own sedan (a gift from his dad)

        just goes to show that the reservations based on caste n other such non-sense have long out-lived their usefulness and should be done away with. instead they were increasing it to 50% (:-o).
        meritocracy had long gone for a toss.

        at times i wonder where on earth can one survive now? Chasing a better career folks land on foreign shores (read Europe & US) only to be treated as 2nd class citizens and once back in India ‘discriminated against’ for being part of the ‘majority’. Exception – money talks.

        a bit of a rambling mode, and thus could be incomprehensible in parts. apologies for that.
        have a nice weekend.


        1. this topic merits a discussion and a separate post, i guess. keep visiting.


  5. I am glad that some more women are writing on social issues and making their voices heard. I agree to what you say here.


  6. Very nice! I’ve always believed that reservations have served their part once over…. and should now be done away with in favour of setting up an equitable environment for all to grow and prosper… rather than be stuck with the completely useless badge of majority (read “non-ex-freedom-fighter-child non-kashmiri non-pandit non-army-man/woman-child physically fit Hindu boy”)


  7. Way to go mom!


  8. Very true .. I totally agree with the piece on studies with small sample sizes.. Please write more


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