Category The L&M and the brats
The L&M saw how hassled I was and decided to pitch in with other things without being told — like cleaning the house. I made the tactical blunder of telling him not ask me where to put what and use his discretion while doing it.
I was nothing like the superwoman of the ads. I usually came home as if the cat had disgustedly dragged me in, before flopping like an imperfect jelly on the bed. If the family was lucky, they would get the previous week’s left-overs. By bedtime I would be sufficiently rejuvenated to scream and yell at the children to change into their bedclothes and brush their teeth, or else…
A vital aspect of the teen years is communication — or the lack of it. Simply put, they don’t want to communicate. I swear we had taught both the brats how to talk and answer questions when they were small! But I don’t know what went wrong and why they stopped talking, rather ‘didn’t want to talk about it’.
Whoever says women are impulsive shoppers haven’t met the L&M
And then the gem: “Do they hate each other?” We were nonplussed. “Then why is the umpire always saying, ‘Love all?’”
As a kid I used to laugh last – not because I laughed best, but because I couldn’t understand the joke when it was being narrated. As the others burst out laughing, I would look somberly at them, with a poker face.
Popcorn by itself is just something to munch on, but combined with a movie, it is an experience!
‘Have you heard of removing a thorn with a thorn, and treating poison with poison?’ asked the younger brat with a wise look. ‘But I can’t poison her, for heaven’s sakes!’ I said miserably…
The ASM (Automatic Searching Machine) that he has become, all the L&M has to do is hear the first words of my whine, ‘I can’t find…’ before he jumps up like a wound up toy and begins looking for it without even knowing what he is searching for.
The label at the neckline, which should have been inside by rights, looked as it was winking happily at all and sundry for having got a chance to see the world!
He still made unannounced nocturnal entries but I began recognising his friends’ clothes soon. In fact, when he came back in his own clothes one time, I actually enquired as to whether he had quarrelled with his friends. And that bag of laundry!
Everyone knows that technical gizmos become obsolete faster than you can say ‘obsolete.’ True to his nature, I caught the L&M staring at his first mobile phone reflectively one day. I did a handstand and a cartwheel for good measure in the next room. I was going to get his old handset now!
I never realised that I would ever miss the infernal MTV. After all those years begging the brats to shut the noise off, I should have been happy. But I felt miserable.The silence was getting to me….