For the last five months, the L&M a.k.a. Lord and Master, and I have lived inside the house 24×7, which, naturally has driven me up the wall all over again with his paranoia about Covid-19 among other quirks. So I thought of revisiting the older posts in the series L&M and The Brats to console myself that things had sometimes been worse when it came to coping with not just him, but the Brats too!
Sharing here the oldest post in the series that appeared here when I began blogging in 2010. Read and sympathise — with me — that is!!
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I was frantically searching inside my wardrobe. The room was littered with clothes of all hues and shapes. I was half inside the bottom shelf, throwing out the contents over my shoulder when I heard my friend calling me.
“What are you looking for? Is it some favourite suit or sari?” she asked pleasantly.
“Don’t be daft!” I answered, my voice muffled by the interior of the wardrobe. “If I were looking for those, I would be searching my kitchen cabinets, or the book shelves. What I am looking for, is the tin of ginger biscuits I had bought last month.”
“Oh, you are impossibly funny!” laughed my friend.
She didn’t know I was stating a fact. She is a new friend so I forgave her ignorance. My old friends know me better. They would never ask me why I was looking for a tin of ginger biscuits in a wardrobe, but would instead offer me helpful suggestions like “Why don’t you look in the shelf where you have put away old newspapers?”
Over the years, I have been forced to become a master concealer of things, especially of eatables. I have been forced to do it thanks to the you-know-who. But why do I have to conceal anything at all? Oh, you are new around here too, aren’t you? Okay. Tell me, how else I can protect the burfis which took two hours for me to make from the trio and make them last at least beyond an hour?
So I hide the burfis. Where? Here comes the tricky part: I hide them in the tea jar. And the tea? In the sugar tin. So where do I put the sugar? I put it in the salt container naturally! Playing this ‘musical jars’ has both advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that the trio gets tired of searching and gives up after opening a few jars.
The disadvantage is that my family often gets salted tea and sugared soup. The other disadvantage is that sometimes in my zeal to conceal things from the trio, I myself forget where I put the stuff and end up with stale biscuits or rancid pastries which surface several months later. Like now; I have found the biscuit tin and am looking at it with trepidation, afraid to open it. The cookies must be positively ‘alive’ by now.
In our house the most oft heard refrain is “Where is my __? (Fill in the blank with items like, pen, socks, underpants, etc., etc.) If you happen to come by in the mornings, you would find us all searching for one thing or the other. Needless to say, we would be searching for shoes in the wardrobe and schoolbooks in the kitchen. Everyone is so used to asking where this or that thing is, that one day — I swear it — the younger brat actually called from the bathroom, “Mom, where is my neck?” We sometimes spend 25 hours in a day searching for various things around the house.
Searching usually means that the trio stand in front of the cupboard/shelf/fridge…and expect the said item to fall into their hands magically. They would announce, ”It is not there!” without moving any other muscle but that of their jaws. This usually makes me very nervous, because they might find one or the other of the things I have hidden in the said places. Now you know why I am a nervous wreck, don’t you?
One day, I was sitting in front of my kitchen cabinet looking for — what else? My watch, of course! After pulling out the monkey wrench that had been missing for months and unearthing L&M’s wallet, I still had not found the watch. In walked my friend — the same one — and asked me the same stupid question of ‘Are you looking for, some utensil? Can I help?”
This time, I decided to put her in the picture well and truly. I made her sit down and explained patiently to her that my utensils would be found on the dining table or if not, on my study table. Who else but a moron would think of keeping them in the kitchen cabinet? I explained irritably that my watch, which should have been inside the cabinet by rights, was not to be found. Ignoring her open-mouthed look, I dived back into the shelf.
I never found the watch, but did find my long lost dupatta. The older boy who happened to walk in just then pounced upon his dumb-bells — I had borrowed them some time ago to pound the masala, because my grinding stone was doing duty elsewhere as some other tool.
So used are we to ‘search’ for things that if I were to tell one of them to go and bring my purse from my room, he would NEVER EVER find it, even if it were lying in front of him. But if I were to say, “Go and search for my purse in my room,” he would bring it in a jiffy.
If I am adept at hiding stuff, the boys, including L&M have evolved their own search techniques. When the three of them are together, they search openly, giving me dirty looks and making snide comments about weird mothers who hide things from their offspring! But if one of them does the sleuthing alone, he tries to be more devious. For instance, the older fellow has an ingenious method of eating burfis and even pastries. He takes out a burfi, slices it off on all the sides and puts the depleted piece back in, taking care to hide it well under the whole ones.
I would never have discovered this, had it not been for a sweetly sarcastic relative who pointed out that the ‘cutely tiny’ burfis were delicious.
In desperation, I finally hit upon the best hiding place — bang in front of their eyes — in a glass jar, if you please. There was this time when I made some laddoos and arranged them in the above said jars, which I then put in the front row of the kitchen shelf. I was amazed to find them still untouched after a week.
Then the younger one came to me. “We all own defeat. We have even searched inside the laundry basket. Now tell us where you have hidden the laddoos.”
If you were to think I was foolish enough to show them then and there, you are mistaken. I made him leave the room and made an elaborate racket, banging cabinet doors and clattering utensils. Then I calmly took down the jars and placed them on the kitchen counter. “Here you are!” I announced with a flourish.
Now, please don’t go revealing my secret hiding place, will you?
I must tell you that it adds spice to our otherwise humdrum life to constantly search for and ‘discover’ things around the house. Go ahead; try it, if you don’t believe me.
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The Cybernag 
A highly hilarious post despite the exaggeration about the impossible and unbelievable places chosen for hiding! In my case it was however different.Whenever I misplaced something and frantically search all over upsetting everyone,my wife would ask me where did I search most.When I reply it was naturally my study table ,she would proceed straight there and bring the misplaced stuff in a jiffy to the mirth of my two daughters and my embarrassment.
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Ha ha! Women can read men’s minds like a mirror, can’t they? Exaggeration? How did you decide that the places chosen were exaggerated? I still hide stuff in wardrobes and under paper stacks!
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The story repeats in every house and is so easy to relate:)
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Ghar ghar ki kahani!
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He he! Great post! 😊
Situation is probably similar in most homes when kids are younger and ready to finish off all the specially prepared goodies…..
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Yes, we women get adept at hiding stuff and if you are like me, even likely to forget where you hid them! My mother used to lock up the goods in the coal bin, which was in a shed outside the house and so had a lock! But my brother knew where she kept the key and would promptly open and take out some, bribing me not to squeal! :))
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I am sure my mother would relate to this post when I share it with her! 😀
In addition to being super secretive about her hiding spots, she adds another layer of protection-every ‘in-demand’ thing is carefully placed in a maze of a hundred other unwanted things that shield it from my hungry eyes.
To think about it, maybe that’s where my love for maps has grown from! Trying to create a mental one of all the savouries hidden in the Cupboa… I mean, kitchen! 😀
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Hey nice to see you here after a long time, Saurabh! I guess all mothers are master concealers of goodies, but only I must be the bungling kind who forgets where she has hidden them!! How are your treks coming along?
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I am glad to be back as well, ma’am 😀
The last year was full of wonderful experiences where I got an opportunity to trek outside Maharashtra for the first time 🙂
Unfortunately, all outdoor activities are on hold since the Covid-19 breakout for safety reasons.
So I have been making do with recollecting treks and penning new posts 🙂
How are you and Uncle doing? I guess I have a lot to catching up to do with the L & M series since I was last around!
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We are doing fine, Saurabh. To know how we are during the lockdown, you should read my post on my Garbage woes. https://cybernag.in/2020/06/04/the-ordeal-of-my-garbage-run/ Great to know you trekked outside Maha. This year is not over yet and you could still go on treks, can’t you? After all, there are no crowds and you use buses or cars to reach the spots.
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[…] should never have played the hide-and-seek games with the L&M and the Brats, never made fun of the L&M’s memory lapses. Oh, what’s […]
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🙂 nice
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[…] the roti casserole and the kadai with the subzi among the clutter. We are masters at it of course (Hide and seek) Tempers would be frayed understandably as we would all be sitting on various sharp/blunt objectson […]
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[…] post Hide and Seek reminded me of my childhood days when mom tried her level best to hide food stuff like laddus, […]
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You too? I am often accused by the brats for acting like a brat (!?) fighting for chocolates, especially the liqueur filled ones! you sound like my kind of person. good i found you!
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That was one funny post. enjoyed it greatly.
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ROFL I can identify with this post. I have hidden things esp chocolates n joojoobies in most unthinkable places. I remember mom hiding imli in her closet but I could smell it out and finish it off in no time. I guess I hide things better than mom and kids do it better than me. lol lovely write up here .
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Thank you for coming back Tikuli! you are so right about kids are getting smarter. i would say that they are being born smarter. btw, did you find your chocolates, or did they go my ginger biscuits way? 🙂
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lol I share chocolates with no one. hehehe yea I found it , the only difference was that it had turned into a sauce :D. I licked it all till the last drop ;D
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hahaha… I could help but reflect on my own childhood. I was a quite well known amongst close circles about being a big time foodie and a habitual nicker. The pains my grandmums, mum, aunts went to hide things from me to ensure others got a fair share… I might take time but I would always ferret it out 😀
Its now a skill put to use only when required 🙂
I can only imagine mum’s agony now
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Good for you! I hope your folks are wise by now at least!!
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well… its always a game of catching up in that respect 🙂
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Caught in the devious(loved the system you’ve devised!) web of you own making eh ? The piece – so inimitably you !
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So you came here! thanks and thanks for your response too!
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Before reading this post I had no idea…placing, misplacing or searching for stuff could be so much fun!! 😀 😛
This does happen at our household…but A has learnt over time to keep his ‘sarcastic’ tones to himself if he wants to avert my wrath! 😉 😀
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Didn’t I say so?
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Awesome piece… I was crying from laughter by the time i reached the end… and i can truly imagine the look on vinni’s face while trying to unearth the hidden goodies… Fortunately I never gave my mother that kind of trouble as a kid but after going to hostel its been a different game altogether… now she claims she must keep food hidden away or else it disappears promptly in my presence… I’ve even done enough to earn the epithet of Bakasura 🙂
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Thank you siddharth, I am glad you liked it.
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Hmm… I’m not sure Harry Potter fans will like equating He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named with the trio you have to face daily.
However, given that the equation you share with them, I will not deny that HP and your real life do have parallels.
While hiding is a different story, losing is an art. Try losing something, and then finding it. Hiding it, or putting it in a different place – that can’t hold a candle to losing things.
So when my family comes to me, saying “I’ve lost XYZ”… I ask just two questions… “When was the last time you used it?” and “Where did you last see it?”
So when my mom comes and says she’s lost her specs, and she last saw them when she last wore them in the kitchen while making breakfast, I simply go to her bedroom and pick them off her dressing table.
Now that’s a secret. Don’t go telling my family that, will ya?
Regards,
Grond
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Ha ha. The comparison is sure apt. and don’t worry your secret is safe with me and all the others out there in cyberspace!
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ha ha ha ha! Those tiny little burfis! Who was that neighbour? and you cant blame us. you kept the jar on top of the idiot box! How can we possibly see the jar when wrestling is on!
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my lips are sealed…
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Dats one amazing piece. I still remember how I used to figure out …. My bro did nt even spared checking the A/c unit! hehehe
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That is rich! thanks for the support. sure appreciate it.
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Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
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“ If all the insects were to disappear from the earth, within 50 years all life on earth would end. If all human beings disappeared from the earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish”
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